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Saturday, 27 January 2018

The Pain & Shame Of Being A Single Mother

Parenting can be quite an arduous adventure. It is hard enough with a committed partner, but when you are doing it alone, especially in Nigeria, the difficulty rises to a whole new level. Most single mothers feel envious of friends who have kind and involved husbands. But as a single mother, remind yourself that everyone has problems, even married people.

Do not be afraid to open yourself up to others. Just because you are a single mom, does not mean you or your child should not have other people to go to. Most single mothers strive to do it all alone, get 9-5 job with house cleaning, cooking meals, and tending to their children’s needs but it only increase stress. Rather than relying on yourself for support all the time, Look for emergency babysitting service in your area that can often provide help fairly quickly in situations where you are incapacitated and need care for your child.

There are quite a number of women in the country who are single parents through the death of a spouse, divorce, abandonment or choice.

Notable Nollywood actress Uche Ogbodo is a single mother. She has gone through a lot and sometimes even cry due to the pain of single motherhood. She was abandoned by the man who impregnated her. Below is what she told a reporter:

''I’m not even gonna lie, I sometimes feel so bad and cry when things get so much on me, because I feel raising a child is a job for 2 people not 1. I never wanted to be a single mother, fate chose me!! But nonetheless, I have no regrets on deciding to keep the baby and not abort it. I’m happy with myself, one of the best decisions I ever made. And I’m happy with the Lovely Daughter God Blessed me with. It’s all worth the effort.

Do you think the culture and belief system of tribes in Nigeria have been fair to single mothers? Are you under any pressure to remarry?

Well I know our African culture and tradition does not support singleness nor single motherhood, and I don’t think it’s bad. I love African Culture and the discipline that comes with it. But ultimately the choice to cajole a child or daughter into marriage is that of the direct or immediate family, and I come from the most organized lovely and supportive Family. They all know what I went through with my Ex and they are supporting me through it all. They are more concerned with me healing completely from my scar, than forcing me into marriage''




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Edited by: Endy Edeson
Photo News Editor: Endy Edeson


Faith Kinika

shout out to all the single mothers

Endy Edeson

well said Olajide

Enyinda Nathaniel Okey

Some are single parents by default. So, we must be cautious. Let us remember there are men not fit to be fathers!

Akpome Theophilus

Being a single mum is not easy at all.a frnd of mine became a single mum at a very tender age and I can tell you life has not been fair since then..apart from financial aspect the best we can do for single mum is to give them listening ear

Job Ayuba

What's the shamefull thing there?

Endy Edeson

@Okey: Well said. Most girls become single mothers due to ''undefined relationships''. @Akpome: You are right. For those that became single mothers as a result of situations beyond their control should be pampered. @Ayuba: My brother, it is shameful especially if the pregnancy is not planned

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